


Getting Freaky Feat. Freakss

by corns



Series: Trending: Kill's Lifestyle Vlogs [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Attempted Romance, Established Relationship, Famous Killua Zoldyck, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gamer Killua Zoldyck, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Internet Famous, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Nature, Screenplay/Script Format, Sexual Humor, Streamer Killua Zoldyck, Youtuber Killua Zoldyck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 22:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19344343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corns/pseuds/corns
Summary: After spending the summer in LA, Gon has to take a quick trip back to rural California to tend to the family farm while Aunt Mito-san's away in North Carolina. With Gon's hometown being only an hour from San Francisco, Killua takes the trip to visit Gon for the week. How will Killua, a born-and-raised city boy, fair in California's countryside? And, more importantly:How will Gon fair after spending a month and a half away from Killua?





	Getting Freaky Feat. Freakss

**Author's Note:**

> If you've never read or written a screenplay before, you'll need THIS BASIC INFORMATION:
> 
> 1) New locations are marked by interior (INT.) or exterior (EXT.) along with the location set title and the time of day (MORNING, DAY, DUSK, NIGHT, etc.)
> 
> 2) If a name is followed by O.S., it means Off Screen.
> 
> 3) The first time a character is introduced, their name is in CAPS and accompanied by their age in parentheses. 
> 
> 4) Words that are CAPITALIZED are the focus of a camera shot. 
> 
> Now you're ready for Hollywood.

**T** here came a day when Aunt Mito-san called Gon up on the phone and said, “I have to take a trip to North Carolina. Kaito’s sick and could use some help on the farm. Do you think you could spend the week helping out?” Gon didn’t even think twice. He had secretly been waiting for the day he could ditch LA to frolic through the alfalfa fields back home.

It wasn’t that he minded LA, nor did it have anything to do with his dear sweet Zushi Roll. Gon couldn’t stand to see Zushi on his lonesome, all on his own in the apartment, but when Gon came to him with his Aunt’s proposal, Zushi waved his hands dismissively and said, “Dude, you should go home for a while.”

Gon frowned, unconvinced. “Are you sure? Won’t you be lonely here?” 

Zushi scoffed and said, “No, it’s fine. Honestly, Gon. Unless you’re looking to use me as an excuse, then if so, _please, Gon, don’t leave me! I can’t go on without you!_ ” Zushi got down on his knees and clutched onto the hem of Gon’s khakis. Gon rolled his eyes and shoved Zushi back by the forehead. He didn’t expect Zushi to hang on and pull Gon down with him, but that was exactly what happened.

And, so, within three hours Gon was belly-flopping on his bed with his phone to his ear, ringing until the very last second in which his favorite sound met his ears.

“ _What the fuck do you want_ ,” Killua deadpanned immediately, voice muffled on the other end of the line. 

Gon’s toes curled, his legs crossing at the ankles over his bum as he flopped to the side, his head perched on his folded arm as he said, “Guess what?”

“ _I’m not playing a fucking guessing game. I hate those—they’re pointless_.”

“Humor me.”

“ _Humor you? Fine, you asked for it. My guess is that you finally deep-throated a banana but accidentally swallowed it whole._ ”

Gon laughed so hard he thought he might faint. He twisted onto his back, staring at his room ceiling as he said, “ _No_ , that’s not it.” He bit his lip to keep himself from smiling, but it was no use. It was hopeless. He was already smiling like a maniac. “I’m going home next weekend. I’ll get to send you pictures of Aunt Mito-san’s farm.”

“ _That’s it? Fuck that, I don’t want to see cows_.”

“There’s more than just _cows_ , Killua,” Gon whined, rolling his eyes. He sighed at the memory of his precious bean of a dog, Ren, who wasn’t allowed inside due to his short esophagus that caused Ren to vomit spontaneously. She was a gnarly pup with a rats nest of a fur coat, but Gon loved her all the same. 

“ _Where even_ is _the farm_?”

“Yolo County,” Gon said. 

“ _Fuck you, you’re lying_.”

“I’m not!” he cried, sitting up in the bed. “I live west of Sacramento.” There came a long, dense silence. Gon dropped back with a groan. 

He lived in the rural, green territory south of Sacramento that had been dusted over with the ash from the forest fires, but not quite touched by it. Before moving to LA, Gon used to see the warm, dark clouds on the horizon like a looming mountain range—it could never be mistaken for a thunderstorm, and Gon found it far more ominous than a simple dusting of rain. Rain was something that brought nothing but excitement to Capay California, especially when there were sandstorms to the north and forest fires elsewhere. Thunderstorms were no longer ominous because of this fact.

When at last the silence broke, Killua said, “ _So you live, like, an hour away from San Fran?_ ”

“Two hours, actually.”

“ _One hour if you drive fast enough_.”

Gon blinked, gasping. He popped straight up again and said, “What’re you saying? Are you saying you’d want to visit the farm?”

“ _Isn’t that why you called?_ ”

“No, I was just—I just wanted you to see it,” he confessed. He didn’t expect Killua to ever want to step foot on rural ground—Killua living in San Francisco and living a digital lifestyle said it all: Killua wasn’t a country guy in the slightest. He had no intention of forcing Killua into it.

“ _Text me your address. I’ll be there_.”

Gon laughed and said, “Yeah right. Now _you’re_ teasing _me_.”

“ _You wanna fucking bet, dude? Text it. I’ll see your ass on Saturday_.”

Gon _really_ started to doubt how well he thought he knew Killua the instant Killua hung up on him that night. It was only Wednesday, and Gon’s bus wasn’t due for another two days. He’d be driving Greyhound through the night and into the early morning when Aunt Mito could be found waiting out at the curb in her red pickup truck. After a dreadfully long seven hour bus ride, Gon’s knees were absolute _sauce_ and all he wanted to do was go for a run. The image of their country road was so fresh in his mind and he ached to hear the sound of gravel under the soles of his feet again.

Aunt Mito hopped out of the driver’s side and rushed onto the sidewalk, crying, “Oh, there he is! I swear you just don’t stop growing, do you?”

Gon giggled as Aunt Mito pulled him to her chest and shook him around. He let her pepper kisses against his hair and squeezed her back. She had the crisp, dry smell on her jacket that smelled like _home_ and he loved every second of it. 

“I missed you,” he said, smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. When he pulled away, Aunt Mito-san was back on the rampage, ushering him to the truck so they could get a move-on. When he jumped into the passenger’s seat, he twisted around to find Aunt Mito-san’s bag packed in the backseat for her flight. Soon, they were peeling away from the curb only to cruise straight up to the airport drop-off station. 

They hugged once again on the curb before Aunt Mito started to run off for the door, her ginger hair bobbing with her until Gon checked his hand for the keys to the truck. He yelped and scrambled to catch her and the truck keys. She passed them over with a gasp and kissed him on the cheek, saying, “I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’ll do wonderfully—call if you need anything.”

He held the door for her and promised that he would. He waved to her when she looked back at him from the baggage claim. When she secured her spot in line, he hurried to the truck and hopped onto the driver’s side.

He hadn’t driven a car in _months_. He didn’t have one in LA and he had yet to return home long enough to make errand runs for Aunt Mito like he used to. When he came to visit, it tended to be for short stints that were dedicated purely to Aunt Mito pampering him to make up for the time they didn’t have together during the school year. With summer, though, he expected to spend more time in Capay. When that didn’t happen, he started to miss home. He still called Capay home—the apartment was just… The Apartment. 

Gon put the truck in drive and, checking his blindspots, pulled away from the curb and out onto the exit lane. _Now, for the hour-long ride Home_.

Gon passed the time with the windows down to keep him awake along with music on the radio. He didn’t really listen to much music as it was, but talking to Killua put him into certain circles of music that he wasn’t familiar with. He wound up accidentally memorizing songs and singing to them on the open freeway heading westward towards the dry foothills that curved along the edge of Capay’s central hub and downtown streets.

Their farm was at a wide bend in the Cache Creek that looped around the patchwork of farmland that colored the countryside interspersed with dry patches dotted with scraggly brush. When Gon spied the tall, powerful tree in their front yard, his chest swelled with pure happiness. It looked just as he left it, and on top of that, he pulled up to the sight of Ren sitting, thumping her tail, and looking proud near the detached garage. 

Gon put the car in park and flew out of the door. The instant his sneakers hit the ground, Ren was on her feet, dropping low, and lunging eagerly for him. She danced around him as he cheered her on, chanting, “Yeah! Yeah! It’s me, it’s me! Hi, hi, hi!” She put her head back and howled, pointed ears flattened back before popping back up, perked and eager as Gon dropped down in front of her and wrapped his arms around her. Her fur was wiry and firm with knots, so his first task was to brush her down and trim her for the hot, summer weather.

He spent the morning on the steps of the wrap-around porch with the clippers plugged into the side of the house and Ren between his feet. He shaved her down while she sat, panting, in the shade. He rubbed her pointed ears between his fingers, smiling when Ren would tip her head far back to see his eyes. Tufts of old, matted fur floated away on the wind.

Gon’s phone buzzed on the wood deck, startling them both.

A cluster of cats from the shed were on the porch with them, and at the sound of the phone going off, a few scattered around it, pouncing, and batting their paws on the case. Gon fished the phone out from their clutches and got a nail hooked to his knuckle for it. 

“Ouch! Hey, not nice,” he whined, rubbing at his hand as he stood and walked away.

He put the phone to his ear and said, “Hey, what’s up?”

“ _Where can a bitch get some gas around here?_ ” 

Gon beamed and explained that Madison was pretty much the only place with a decent gas station around Capay. Actually, it was the _only_ place with a gas station within a short driving distance. He stood at the edge of the steps, explaining the location of the Madison gas station as he looked across the lawn to the barns, the shed, and the overhang that sheltered the ATVs. 

“Hey, do you think you could pick up some extra? I’ll pay you back,” he said.

“ _You’re not Venmo-ing me for gasoline_ ,” Killua said and promptly hung up.

Gon giggled as he pocketed his phone and returned to Ren to clean up the uneven tufts of fur around her chest and shoulders. He patted her clean of excess fur and sent her off to the races before hurrying into the house to wash his hands, change his shirt, and check himself in the mirror. As he tugged the shirt over his chest, he hesitated and pulled it back up to look at the scars at either flank of his ribcage. 

It had been a month and a half since Gon had left San Francisco—since Gon had last seen Killua. He tingled all over at the prospect of seeing Killua again. He missed being able to sit so close to see the pores on Killua’s otherwise smooth and flawless skin. He missed being able to see the threads of color in Killua’s irises, or where the white faded near the roots of his hair. He missed being able to see all the things Killua’s viewers couldn’t, to be able to hear Killua’s voice hitch. To see Kill break character. 

To break his character. 

Gon pulled the shirt down and and leant over the sink to check his hair once more. He tugged his fingers through it—soft and clean.

A knock sounded on the front screen door. 

Gon yelped. He didn’t realize how long he spent staring at himself in the mirror until that moment. “Just a second!” he shouted, scrambling out of the bathroom. He flew around the dining room tables and lunged for the door handle where he could see the back of a head of white hair. His heart leapt to his throat and pulsed rapidly, making him both nauseous and lightheaded at the same time. 

He flung open the screen door, and was met by a horde of meows racing up to the front door at the sound of the door opening. In front of him, Killua cursed and scrambled back, tripping over the threshold as the cats ran straight up to the door. One stood up on their hind legs to latch onto the hem of Killua’s basketball shorts. 

Gon ducked down and unhooked the cat’s claws before shutting the door behind them. Killua all but flattened his back against the screen door, like the cats could knock it down if they so wished. Gon could see them standing up and peering at him through the door, begging for food. 

“I haven’t fed them yet,” Gon said with a shaky laugh.

Killua stared at him, his duffle in one hand and his camera abandoned in the other when his life was on the line. Gon reached up and scratched the back of his head, suddenly nervous. _This was why I didn’t want to suggest anything_ , he thought, thinking back to Killua’s entire gaming setup, his posh Oakland house, his attachment to social media. Aunt Mito’s farm was the opposite of all of that.

Gon hurriedly took the duffle from Killua and started across the dining room, saying, “I don’t know if you want your own room or not, but we have a guest bedroom downstairs—”

“I don’t need my own room,” he said. A shiver rolled up Gon’s spine. He’d been hearing Killua’s voice through a speaker for over a month now, and having Killua just behind him, his footsteps a mere step away, sent warmth flooding through his entire system. Processing Killua’s words, however, set the spark that sent him up in flames. 

“O-Okay,” he squeaked, voice cracking. Killua smirked at him when he looked over his shoulder, and Gon found the camera up once again. Gon groaned and rolled his eyes. “Come on,” he whined, stepping back towards Killua. 

Killua’s smirk widened, his eyes settled firmly on Gon’s face. “You’re the one who got me to set foot on a farm,” he said. Gon felt his grip on the duffle loosening at the hint of a challenge in Killua’s voice. His fingers itched to feel the heat of Killua’s threat, and he felt his mouth run dry at the hooded look in Killua’s eyes. He was too distracted to realize that Killua was completely recording the heated look in Gon’s eyes before he took Killua by the chin and pulled him forward for a slow, tantalizing kiss that pulled a groan from the back of Killua’s throat before he thought to turn the camera off. He blindly pushed the camera onto the table. That night he’d find the footage hadn’t, in fact, cut out.

But before then, and after they got carried away at the base of the stairs, Killua had a documentary to record. 

 

_KILLU uploaded a video!  
_ **Vlog: Freakss Is A Cowboy?? Visiting Freakss & Getting Freaky  
** 1.4M views ∙ 2 hours ago

 

EXT. ASSASSINATION HOUSE — MORNING

IKALGO (21) leans out of the house. Behind him, just barely visible, stands KURAPIKA (23) with their arms crossed, looking disappointed. Not much is out of the ordinary. Ikalgo waves eagerly and shouts:

 

IKALGO  
Bye sweetie! Have fun!

 

A middle finger appears out of the corner of the screen. Ikalgo feigns looking appalled. The camera spins around to view KILLUA (20) walking away from the house and speaking into the camera. There’s a duffle strap over his shoulder that he tosses into the back of a car.

 

KILLUA  
The rat is within spitting distance so I’m going to visit him.   
And _no_ , this isn’t a romantic getaway. The idiot lives on a farm or some shit.  
He probably moisturizes with manure.

 

Killua drops into the driver’s seat and starts the car.

 

EXT. CAR ON RURAL HIGHWAY — DAY

The car is moving at a slow crawl down a two-lane road flanked on either side by fields. The camera zooms in on a red BARN the size of Texas. 

 

KILLUA O.S.  
Jesus fuck—he wasn’t kidding.

 

INT. FREAKSS BEDROOM — DAY

A shaky camera angle captures Gon’s BACKSIDE climbing the stairs. The camera turns around for a thumb shot of Killua’s wide, suggestive eyes. He bites his lip as he turns the camera back around. Gon sweeps an arm out to an open bedroom door. 

 

GON  
You can put your stuff anywhere.

KILLUA O.S.  
So this was your room?

GON  
Yeah

 

Killua’s DUFFLE flies out from off screen and plops unceremoniously onto the bed’s plaid comforter. The camera zooms in on the BED. 

 

KILLUA O.S.  
So is this where you masterbated in your youth

 

Gon makes a horrified sound and, just as the camera catches the look of horror on Gon’s face, he lunges for Killua’s camera. His hand slaps onto the lens. Killua’s laughing as Gon tackles him to the ground, still screaming:

 

GON O.S.  
KILLUA! Don’t say that! That’s inappropriate!

 

There’s a brief cut in which the chaos subsides. The camera focuses on a wall of framed photographs over a desk. The lens whirrs as it zooms in on a photo of a doughy version of young Gon holding a fishing rod triumphantly over his head. On the wall next to it all is a cross.

 

KILLUA O.S.  
Are you religious?

 

The camera zips over to Gon, who is crouched, frozen, by his own duffle. He looks as though he’s caught in a massive lie as he smiles weakly and scratches his cheek.

 

GON  
Is this going on the internet? 

KILLUA O.S.  
Yeah.

GON  
Then yeah, I’m religious. Are you? 

KILLUA O.S.  
Yeah, maybe. Maybe a religious LIAR.

 

Gon lunges for the camera again, screaming.

 

INT. PATIO DOOR — DAY

They approach the screen door. Around the edge of the window, the camera captures the sight of several cats lounging on the porch steps. Distantly, Gon shushes Killua, as if either of them are actually making noise. Killua scoffs.

 

KILLUA O.S.  
Shut the fuck up. I’m being quiet.

 

A cat lunges up, its claws hooking on the screen. Killua curses as Gon yelps and the entire horde of cats yowls up, roaring for food. They gather into a sea of fur at the patio threshold.

The camera turns to Gon, who grimaces worriedly.

 

KILLUA O.S.  
You know I’m allergic to cats.

 

A very obvious sense of horror captures Gon’s expression and holds him hostage.

 

GON  
Are you really?

KILLUA O.S.  
No, you idiot. 

GON  
KILLUA! Don’t scare me like that! You know the nearest hospital is, like, an hour away.

 

The camera flips around as Killua turns away so that Gon can’t see the terror on Killua’s face. He leans towards the camera lens, a hand cupped to his lips as he mouths the words “HELP ME”. 

 

EXT. FREECSS YARD — DAY

Their footsteps crunch on the gravel. Gon walks several paces ahead of Killua, who’s manhandling the camera, taking care to keep the camera close to the ground where the cats are scattered around them, mewling and flicking their tails. When Gon turns back to the camera, Killua lifts it to capture the flannel jacket Gon equipped—starting at the bottom where he now wore a pair of work boots.

 

GON  
The cats tend to stick to the hay barn, but in the summer they like to hang out by the front tree because of the shade.  

KILLUA O.S.  
You look so fucking hick right now, dude.

GON  
(self-conscious)  
Is it the flannel? Should I take it off? 

KILLUA O.S.  
No, dude, you look fine.  

GON  
Are you saying you have a thing for hicks?

 

The camera turns back around to view Killua, pale white against the bright blue sky. His smile is as tense as it is deadly.

 

KILLUA  
I’m going to fucking end you, Freakss.

GON O.S.  
End me or my ass?

 

There’s a pause as Gon’s put on the spot once more. Gon stands there, eyes wide in terror as a cat clings to the shoulder of his flannel.

 

GON  
You’re gonna edit that out, right? 

INT. HAY BARN — DAY

Gon crouches among a sea of farm cats, a bag of FOOD raised high over his head. He deposits one cupful at a time onto metal trays spread across the ground. They’re in the shade of massive stacks of hay barrels, and only a sliver of sunlight can be seen through the towers at the far end of the hay barn tunnel. 

 

GON  
Yes, my sweet things, eat up. This is all for you—all for you. Yes, yes it is. 

 

The camera turns to Killua as he walks away, rolling his eyes. Sunlight catches on his look of absolute disgust as Gon is seen in the shadows, still feeding the cats. Killua pretends to vomit.

 

EXT. HAY BARN — DAY

The camera zooms in on REN THE COLLIE across the yard. Ren now looks like a lion merged with a fox—her scrawny figure now abundantly visible after the shaving. Ren can be seen yakking on the gravel, jaw stretched wide, bile splashing out. 

 

KILLUA  
Gon, your dog’s throwing up. 

GON O.S.  
Oh, yeah, she does that. Her esophagus is too short.

 

Killua turns the camera around as he walks away and Gon emerges from the hay barn. Gon puts his hands on his hips, unconcerned. Killua looks back at Gon, brow furrowed. 

 

KILLUA  
What the fuck?

 

INT. KITCHEN — DUSK

Killua is sitting at the tabletop next to the windowsill bench. The kitchen lights are on and they cast a warm, yellow glow around him as he leans into the camera and whispers:

 

KILLUA  
The rat’s outside right now.

 

He turns the camera around to face the window. The lens adjusts to the light and takes a moment for the gaussian blur to dissipate. When the image clears, we see Gon walking underneath the fluorescent work lamp posted over the barn door. He’s carrying a shovel as Ren prances after him through the open door.

 

INT. ABANDONED BARN — MORNING

A pair of feet step over a cracked, concrete threshold. The camera pans to the left, where there’s a massive stainless steel tank in a cobweb-infested shed. The camera turns around as Killua takes the opposite archway to an abandoned milk barn. His eyes are wide, adjusting to the shade. His minuscule pupils dilate in the dark. 

 

KILLUA  
The rat’s still asleep. He said this used to be a dairy farm so all the old milking stations are still here—Oh shit.

 

A cat stands a few feet away under a mound of dilapidated equipment. It hisses ferociously at him and snarls before running off. In the distance, the cat vaults over the channel that lines the back of each station. The channels are each massive, long gaps in the concrete that look hazardous and prime locations for a broken ankle. 

Killua continues onward. He walks between the aisles, stepping over planks of wood and an abandoned tire. The camera turns to him as he stops, terror-stricken. Not one person has seen this level of horror on Killua Zoldyck’s face before this moment. He crouches and curses.

 

KILLUA  
What the fuck is that. Holy shit—

 

He takes a step closer, turning the camera around. He focuses the lens and zooms in. In the distance, between the stations, is what appears to be a large tuft of white fur. He steps closer and it yellows. He curses again as the face of the beast comes into view. 

The camera cuts out.

 

EXT. FREECSS YARD — MORNING

The camera is shaky and Killua’s feet are racing faster than they’ve ever gone before.

 

KILLUA  
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT—

 

Gon blinks in and out of view as the camera rattles frantically. He’s standing at the porch in nothing but a pair of shorts and tube socks holding a rifle. 

 

GON  
What? What happened? 

KILLUA O.S.  
There’s a fucking wolf in the barn, dude—

 

The camera turns up to Gon, whose eyes widen in excitement. A smile spreads across his face. 

 

GON  
Wait, really? Oh, that’s so cool! Is it dead or alive? 

KILLUA O.S.  
I DON’T FUCKING KNOW—

GON  
Aw, I don’t want to kill it if it’s alive. What if it hurts the cows?

 

INT. ABANDONED BARN — MORNING

Killua’s hand is at the corner of the screen, pointing ahead. Gon turns away from the camera to follow the direction. He’s got a rifle strapped to his shoulder. Killua and the camera stays far, far away as Gon steps around the milking station, over the channel, and pauses down the aisle from the beast. Gon leans forward, squinting at it, before straightening with a look of disappointment. 

He takes the rifle off and holds it by the barrel as he marches back to Killua.

 

GON  
It’s just a coyote, dude, and it’s already dead.

KILLUA  
What do you mean “ _just”_?!

 

EXT. ATV SHED OVERHANG — DUSK

Gon’s pouring gasoline into one of the ATVs under the glow of the hot work lamp light. He sets the red tank aside and screws on the cap. 

 

GON  
Have you ever driven one of these before?

KILLUA O.S.  
Fuck no, nor do I plan on it.

GON  
What? But it’s so fun. Do you wanna ride a horse instead? 

KILLUA O.S.  
What about _not_ wanting to ride a four-wheeler _screams_ horse?

 

Gon puts his hands on his hips. 

 

GON  
I can drive then, and then you can hold onto me.

 

He gestures by crossing his arms over his torso. The camera turns to Killua, who purses his lips. A long moment stretches in silence as Gon walks around so his head is at Killua’s shoulder. He smiles at the camera and looks over at Killua, who then takes a step towards the ATV, lowering the camera. 

 

KILLUA  
Fucking fine. I’ll do it.

 

EXT. FIELD TRAIL — DUSK

The ATV engine rumbles through the audio. The sun has set behind the green highlands past the dry foothills, and the remaining light glints off of the sleek finish of Gon’s helmet. He steers the ATV down the hill and Killua lets out a shout of both alarm and excitement, laughing at himself afterwards as he turns the camera around. His visor is up and the wind buffets his bangs to the side so it looks like his hair is parted down the middle.

 

EXT. GRASSY RAVINE — NIGHT

It’s now dark, but Sacramento leaves an orange glow on the eastern horizon and San Francisco colors the sky to the south. There’s a looming, black cloud north of them as the camera circles the scene and ends on Gon, who pops his helmet off and leaves it at the ATV. He shoulders a bag and walks up to where Killua is standing on the cusp of a shallow ravine.

 

KILLUA O.S.  
Did you bring me out here to kill me? 

GON  
No. This is the best place to go stargazing in ___.

 

The County name is bleeped out with the sound of a duck quacking. The camera turns around and Killua scowls at Gon from over the lens. 

 

KILLUA  
Is this supposed to be romantic?

 

The camera turns back to Gon and if Killua had a microphone, it’d be there at the corner of the screen as if to say, “ _What do you have to say for yourself, sir? Any thoughts?_ ” Gon blinks owlishly at Killua.

 

GON  
Is it not romantic? I brought you to the canyon.

KILLUA O.S.  
This is just a fucking ditch, dude. Like, the type of ditch you roll bodies into.

GON  
Aw, don’t be mean! This was my favorite place as a kid. I even brought ___ for you.

 

The brand is bleeped out with the sound of a duck quacking. Gon pulls a white BOTTLE out of the bag and holds it by the neck for Killua to see. The label is blurred out. The camera turns back to Killua, who is now grinning like the devil he is.

 

KILLUA  
Now we’re talking. I’m cutting the name out because this video isn’t sponsored and I’m too mercenary to pro bono this shit. 

GON O.S.  
Since you aren’t paying me, are you blurring out my face?

 

Killua scowls at the camera and then raises an eyebrow as he looks over the lens at Gon. He turns the camera around so the world can see the cheeky smile on Gon’s face. In the last second, his entire face fuzzes over like when cable TV censors titties. 

 

FADE TO BLACK

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if having the videos in screenwriting format is too confusing :O I didn't know how else to portray KILLU's videos lol


End file.
